Principal's Message

This feeling of vulnerability can be scary and is often reinforced by our internal belief system that tells us we shouldn’t trust because the situation is too new, or that the relationship or system hasn’t been tried out properly yet, or possibly because of bad experiences from past, similar situations. Protecting ourselves and/or those we love most, can also mean that we are constantly scanning for ‘data’ that we believe confirms our internal beliefs. Often this data can be misinterpreted or perceived wrongly because of these internal beliefs.

Of course, this is merely my opinion, but after a few trips around the sun, many years watching young people learn and grow up and, of course, the best experience of all being the mother of four adult children, I consider that trust is one of the most fragile and yet most important qualities we can give one another.

A few examples come to mind.

On Sunday, we had a very successful Open Day and prospective parents and children had the chance to experience our college community’s hospitality and aroha. It was great meeting so many visitors new to our place and talking to excited young people. I am sure that many of these visitors have been to other open days because, as parents, we want to ‘scan for the data’ that tells us it is safe to trust a new school and their staff with our most precious taonga. Attending an Open Day is the beginning of a home-school relationship and it is important that building trust in the relationship on both sides begins from the first moment a new family steps through our door.

Sometimes things at school go wrong. I certainly don’t have to remind you that we work with 700 young people every day, and every day some of those young people with developing brains and emotions can be unpredictable. That is how they learn and that is why we need to be tolerant and let them learn from their mistakes with strong guidance from our pastoral team and college values wrapped around them. Again, a trusting relationship between home and school is crucial. We have processes, systems and practices that are tried, tested and trusted to work through everyday issues when they happen. Believe it or not, often these young people even manage to fix the problem restoratively without adult involvement. That’s when we know our systems, prior learning and family values are working and, actually, I am sure that learning independent positive skills in conflict resolution is what we want for all our children. Let me be provocative here and even suggest that sometimes, stepping back and trusting the process is the best thing we can do as a parent, as much as we want to protect our children from the world around them. If there is one thing that our deans learn very quickly when working with young people at these times, it is that there is always two sides to a story, and perception can often get in the way of reality.

Another example recently has been evident in the two world cups in progress at the moment. There is considerable trust required in sport - trust in the team as a unit and trust in the individuals who make up that team. Of course, trust in the coaching team is also hugely important. Trust that they know what they are doing, that they won’t put a player in harm’s way, and trust that they will get the best out of the team under pressure when there is a real desire to win. As a leader, I am always interested in watching the interactions between the coach and players on game day because it tells me a lot about the culture of the team. Often, there is very little interaction, because trust takes over. The work has happened well before getting on the field or court. Trust, cooperation, commitment and respect has been built, and game day is merely about tweaking around the edges to adjust to the game conditions.

The saying that ‘the sum of the parts is greater than the whole’, rings true for me in my role. The culture of any team is crucial to success. It is built on trust, mutual respect, vulnerability is minimised, and systems, practices and processes keep people safe.

I am proud of our culture at Trinity – thank you for continuing to trust us to do our best for your precious taonga.